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User blog:SensibleCenobite/Product Review: Subsidiaries: A Guide to Pentex.
@page { margin: 0.79in } p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 120% } This is just fiction, duh! SNOWFLAKE TRIGGER WARNING: Dear Snowflakes, go read another blog, you will not like this one {London}. It's full of adult children with bundles of humor, creativity, and honesty. If you read my blog, I'm not harassing you, heads up. I did put a joke too close too the warning in one post {humor seems to be offensive since 2015}, so I'll put the joke of the day at the bottom from here on out {WIN/WIN}. WARNING: It seems that my couched vocabulary isn't cutting it in the warning section, so here is an amended warning. FANDOM does have wikis that are all ages, but White Wolf products, articles, and blogs on this wiki are for adults only, since they deal with topics like becoming a demi god, black magic, blood drinking, cannibalism, casual mass murder, child kidnapping, demons, foul language, Frankenstein creatures, God, goddesses, gods, Mummies, nuclear missiles, rape, religion, serial killers, slavery, snuff films, theft, The Robot Devil, Vampires, Werewolves, white magic, Wraiths, and so on. Would you let your kids on the “IT” wiki {Great book}? It's not my responsibility to monitor your children, so please feel free to do that yourself, or get a parental lock on your internet browser {Your kids probably already have the password}. If my blog offends you at ANY point, you have the option to not read it. I don't get paid for any posts I do. I don't take credit for this, but it sounds perfect, “Getting offended by something on the internet is like choosing to step in dog crap instead of walking around it.” If I scream into your face, that's a little different. HEADS UP: My blog is for me, but I have comments enabled, cause why not, but it's for me {I still adore my fellow Chantry members!}. I'm an arrogant, selfish, narcissistic, demon worshiping, demon possessed, lizard blooded writer. Hail Ananasa! Hail Cthulhu!, Hail Leviathan! Hail Nergal! Hail Ralph! Hail Satan! Jesus is a fantastic investor! I do however take requests, and love to work on pen and paper concepts with anyone who asks. Freedom of speech is the only safeguard against tyranny, so feel free to comment below, and notice how you may type in foul language without stars replacing the characters. If you do decide to comment, you would technically be harassing me, especially if the post is a month old, which is fine. You may in fact insult this blog AND my character, however liable and death threats will NOT be tolerated. Year of the Dragon is still a go, but I got a random bug up my ass to read a book yesterday and I couldn't stop, which is perfect since Pentex is a global organization and fits easily into the Chronicle. I'll create some organizations that parody real life ones in the comments below and add them into Year of the Dragon. I'm tired of the quote game, time to throw the brick backwards, leave the brain at home cause it's time for funsies, I'll be finished with the product review when the final post is up }:) Subsidiaries: A Guide to Pentex: Pg 2 says I can do a review, thank you very much White Wolf. Minor Credits: His Majesty Mr. Russel Hammond for protecting my freedom of speech all the way from Brazil, IanWatson for creating the wiki, StrangerThings for the Year of the Dragon Chronicle, the top contributors for the week [Daroff85, Ebakunin, IceCreeper707, Khjtim5, Narm00], new contributors [Daroff85, IceCreeper707, Jthanlon, Khjtim5, Rappy 4187], FANDOM, and lastly my Chantry for liking the chromatic orbs. Major Credits: Authors: Justin Achilli (Black Dog), Richard E. Dansky (Endron and King), Deena McKinney (Avalon), Clayton Oliver (Magadon), Ethan Skemp (Tellus) Additional Contributions and Advice: Heather Smith and Rev. Will Van Meter (Magadon); Brian Urbanek, Owen Winkler and Jess Heinig (Tellus) Developer: Ethan Skemp Editor: Aileen E. Miles Art Director: Aileen E. Miles Interior Art: Andrew Bates, Jeff Holt, Steve Prescott, Jeff Rebner Cover Art: Steve Prescott Layout, Typesetting and Cover Design: Aileen E. Miles WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT. IF YOU ARE NOT A STORY TELLER THIS COULD RUIN SOME IMPORTANT SECRETS FOR YOU. TheBeardedDragon's overall opinion of Subsidiaries: A Guide to Pentex: A+, This title is now in my top three which includes: Ananasi: Changing Breed Book 7 and World of Darkness: Hong Kong. '''This product kept my attention the entire time, and I had to read to this to completion, amused to no end in the last half. '''White Wolf doesn't hold back on the mockery, always sure to imply that the Chantry and the production team are lazy burn outs, still at mom and dad's, with unkempt hair and bad hygiene, high hopes to become an amateur writer, that doesn't get laid, and is very lonely at table number nine with the freaks. Empirical observations seem to indicate this is true a lot of the time }:) This title really forces the Pack to use non violent tactics eighty percent of the time just because of the way these companies are designed, staffed by personnel who are normal people like you and I, }:), they want their check, their family, and their routine of quite misery. Introduction: Ground Floor pg 4: A+, A basic introduction to the product. Chapter One: Endron International pg 8: A+, the meat of the story begins with Hiram Bollingsworth and his wife Hattie who INSISTED Hiram go along to seances, halt... What have I said about Ouija boards and Scooby Doo my fellow Chantry members? DO'T DO IT! Seances are now on that list. Anyway, Hiram happens to be infected with a Bane at one of these seances, and after too much hassle about the new direction he's headed, Hattie has an accident. For the most part, Endron focuses it's efforts on oil extraction, refinement of oil into gas, transportation of oil and gas, mini marts, nuclear power plant acquisitions that are about to melt down that is, oil that breaks down your vehicle, and NASCAR. At the same time Endron wants to pollute the planet it needs to keep it's company profitable, so little to no upkeep is done to keep it's equipment safe, with tanker accidents not only anticipated but welcomed, followed by an overhaul all at once, which pollutes and saves money at the same time. For off shore exploration they have what is called a Menanthol which is as much a mega oil drill as it is designed to awake various Banes at the bottom of the sea floor, some which sound like Cthulhu monsters to me. For their top priority oil exploration missions they send out the EPPS which consists of geologists, mercenaries, and service staff, all armed with state of the art equipment and a little information about the World of Darkness. This company is dirty and then some compared to major companies in the "real world", but their methods are still the same, just more gruesome and covert. Endron has a tendency to set up deals with local governments for the rights to build pipelines, roads in and out of the fields, and to kill anyone on sight no questions asked, all in exchange for Endron to construct hospitals, water filters, and other amenities. If that doesn't work they use finances, law, violence, or the Black Out Switch to get their ends achieved. What's The Black Out switch my fellow Chantry members? It's the hidden switch that forces a six hour black out just to remind people of their dependence on the city life, and how they would suffer without Endron. Chapter Two: Magadon, Incorporated pg 34: A+, wolves in sheep skin lab coats, Magadon goes out of it way to do as much charity as possible, have the best medical database possible, cure as many people as possible, and what a smile you have grandma. Magadon's smile is just a facade, if you consider all their research and development focused on bacteria, viruses, genetics that target specific sectors of the population [I.E. Garou of native descent], chemicals that ward off the effects of Delirium, and too many to list. Ninety nine percent of Magadon facilities do their job well, and it won't help to target one or all of them, since the schedule and location of tainted products are rotated constantly. Since MagNet is the BEST source of accurate medical information for Magadon's clients, would it be moral to shut it down, even though you know your community Magadon clinic has prevented twelve prescription incidents? Their most useful wonder drug is F45.6, which retards the aging process by a factor of ten, and it would be have been tits if they didn't run out of their supply of Vitae... plot hook for Year of the Dragon! Chapter Three: King Breweries and Distilleries pg 62: A+, Jeremy King rules his family and their corporation with a devils hand, always a bit of a hot head it sounds like, he paralyzed his father after one summer of chores, just so he can keep him alive and up to date with the daily affairs. Besides family torture and Pentex mergers, King Breweries and Distilleries is as American as mom and apple pie on the outside, with six subsidiaries who specialize in the manufacture of different spirits, one for imported beers, and one that ships product around Gaia. As usual, most of what King does is standard corporate fare such as pollutants dumped in the river, blatant racism and sexism in a 1950's way, or pulling strings in Washington, but the one percent evil they do is even more subtle than the previous two companies, like a two percent hike in alcohol content here, ingredients that cause horrific hang overs there, pretentious beer snobs that are more than able to afford the ten dollars per six pack micro brewed crap, or a Bane in a bottle for good measure. The only left field Larry that the Coterie should expect are the Dragon Valley Wine's vines and grapes which have a penchant for the zombie apocalypse pod people style, minus that awful scream they made when they found out you were human. Chapter Four: Avalon Incorporated pg 82: A+, All those times your dolls had sex with each other, killed the unicorn, started a game with out you, or got you to run over a toddler to buy your own toddler the latest and greatest, it's all a plot to corrupt you since childhood. Avalon Incorporated focuses on children ages two to seven in a campaign to desensitize them, encourage materialism, and urbanization, but none of that dawns on the employees as they happily create whatever they want, always sure to take home the newest toy off the assembly line to their tykes. Avalon Incorporated has access to actual attack robots that look just like their mascot, Action Bill, armed with lethal weapons that would make Rambo envious, programmed to shot first and help children buy more later, and he isn't here for a round of tea with Cici the anorexia bot. Like King Breweries, Avalon doesn't like to infect it's products with Banes, but prefers to let their subliminal messages do the work for them over a long period, which makes Avalon a hard target for aggressive Coteries. Chapter Five: Tellus Enterprises pg 100: A+, I've been around the game industry a lot and this chapter is honestly the most accurate, with burn outs galore, unhealthy sleep and diet routines, souls sold to Malfeas serious on this one, and violent win lose strategies that are always the best route to victory. They even mock Richard Lord British Garriott and call him low time compared to the major players, which made me laugh but say "WTF!?!", because I love Chris Crawford and Richard Garriott got Richard to contact me about Might and Magic Quest of the Avatar. Please listen to the Manly P. Hall clip on "Magic - White, Gray, and Black" and you'll hear him talk about computer science as the modern day black magic, or the wizard turning lead into gold for the king so to speak. One cool thing they mention is how children's belief in video game characters causes them to become real and protect the Tellus Enterprises building and network, with stupid AI routines that are straight out of the 90's. Like Avalon and King, Tellus avoids blatant evil deeds in favor of slowly mind raping young adults into future lives of corruption, with very few Banes if any put into consoles and software, almost to the point of almost non effectiveness. Unlike Avalon, Tellus is more likely to have a Masquerade violation witnessed by the Coterie or someone of importance, but then again their portrait is really pixilated and the name is different... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T44C3V1Tt_0 Chapter Six: Black Dog Game Factory pg 118: A+, The funniest chapter in my opinion, they zing everyone in the Chantry, the industry, and themselves. The heads up at the start of the chapter is written in such a serious tone and implores us to see the dark side of nerdom in jest, but since it's 2019 they have their bases covered, lawyers on hold, ready to fight off angry e-mails sent by snow flakes. This chapter was every blog post I wrote about the industry and how both options 'A' and 'B' are violence, and to prove a point the mock Talent "Assbeating" made me laugh out loud. Anyone who's been up to date with my blogs since day one knows, I had a fairly bad encounter with another game companies forums, and what White Wolf has to say about them is exactly what was on my mind the whole time I was on their site. We have a chi connection White Wolf. When did you plant ninja spies in my head? Some time back in the early 90's? Anyway, this chapter is honestly a complete joke/parody, with Black Dog Game Factory supposed to be used like the Wizard of Oz, the people behind the curtain that don't do much, are a complete bunch of crack addicted slackers, who accidentally fell into success by rubbing shoulders with the creator of Black Dog Game Factory, and honestly I get paid $0.00/hour to be an amateur writer, why can't they? You'll be hard at work for major pizza chains after the 5th edition is worn out like an old whore, thank you for your efforts! Final Grades and Opinions: I bought the pdf version off of DriveThruRPG and I don't own the hard copy. I don't get paid by DriveThruRPG or anyone else for product reviews. Reading the book a fun read, clarity of text: A+, the text is nice and crisp and I fell in love with all six companies under Pentex's umbrella. White Wolf made humorous use of it's sarcasm without going over board and brought up some real life topics that plague us more than ever to this day. The disclaimer for chapter six is the funniest though, since it's sincere and aimed at us, the Chantry. Writing errors, typography, Cohesion: A+, I didn't see any major errors, all chapters flowed well, and the team gave some nice letter head props to hand out to Players. Characters quality, context, immersion: A+, all major antagonists are introduced, many with role playing suggestions, which is always nice. Locations quality, context, immersion: A+, every major location is covered in great detail that is associated with each subsidiary, so you'll be able to keep your creatures of the night busy for months on end. Artwork immersion, quality, length spent staring at pictures: A+, crisp, immersive, with much time spent on all pictures, even the ones without nudity ;) Evidently grandpa Leviathan was right, you will commit suicide if you play pen and paper games, and you can look for yourself on pg 118 }:). Circles are complete; Triangles are immutable. Hallelujah, Hail Cthulhu, Praise Evolution, TheBeardedDragon SensibleCenobite (talk) 23:56, May 28, 2019 (UTC) Added a little bit to my overall opinion. Added Chapter 2. Added Chapter 3, 4, 5, and 6. Category:Blog posts